Thursday, January 31, 2008

If the snow won't come to you, go to it!

So on Tuesday we decided to take a little drive up to the mountains in hopes of letting Logan play in the snow. I never realized exactly how close we actually are to the snow! I think we only drove about 30 minutes and it started snowing and after another 10 minutes we had hit the mother load. I was so upset when I pulled my camera out only to discover that my batteries were dead in it, but then Michael pulled the video camera out! I'd forgotten to grab it but that's what husbands are for, so I don't have any stills of Logan in the snow but I do have some nice video. We decided to not go up any further since we'd just had that big storm a few days ago (not to mention we didn't have snow chains for the car and neither Michael or I had hats or gloves) and pulled over on a turnaround right before the entrance to Sequoia National Park.
I put Logan's snowsuit on him, which I was happily surprised it fit and I hadn't wasted my money, and we let him play in the snow about 30 minutes. He looked so adorable and he loved the snow! I'll have to pull some stills off the videos and post them. Here's my favorite one!


Monday, January 28, 2008

It's househunting season!

Well we've found a few potential houses that we are going to look into this week, however I'm so agitated right now. Michael had been trying to apply for a new job but he had to apply online and the program messed up, apparently now he can't reapply for 90 days! He didn't even finish the application I don't see why they can't let him resubmit it somehow. Total crap.

And one of our friends who we told about the job he was applying for applied and got a position which just shows me that ad everything gone right he would have gotten hired too. I'm so upset about this right now I'm in tears. This could have been our ticket to a better life. I'd been feeling more upbeat until today, now I feel completely down in the dumps again. :(

I should be sleeping right now, it's about 3am but I can't - or maybe I won't. I have too much on my mind, not just this job stuff but also bills and stress with my parents. I hate these childish games. I hate being in the MIDDLE of these childish games.

something else I realized I need to start planning in Logan's birthday party, we've only got about a month and a half left! On a bright note I did our taxes on Thursday and we're getting back a very substantial amount of money. I'm happy about that, maybe we'll buy ourselves something nice and of course we need to save a bit of it and part of it goes into a savings account for Logan and a big 1st birthday present! I guess that's one nice thing about his birthday being in March, we'll always have money for a really great present for him when he's older. :)

Friday, January 25, 2008


I need to vent! I'm so angry right now. We've been living with my parents since October to try and get back on our feet financially but I feel like I've lost my sanity. I'd forgotten how hard living with my parents could be, or maybe I just thought that it would be different this time around.
I love my parents I really do but both of them have their faults. Yes I'm very aware that EVERYONE has faults but I have to wonder why did I put myself into this situation? and even more why did I put Logan and Michael into this situation? I really feel that a.) this is not a nurturing environment for Logan. My mom and I constantly bicker, if she doesn't have a reason to fight with me she makes one up. I can't be a good mommy while I'm in a bad mood and stressed out. and b.) my marriage is suffering. I'd been told that moving back in with my parents would do this but I'd really thought that we were strong enough to be ok. I feel bad because I'm stressed and from fighting with my mom all day long I'm in a bad mood when Michael gets home. I take it out on him and I know it's wrong.
I'm looking for rental listings and if worst comes to worst we can always move in with Michael's parents. After all I can be just as miserable there as I can be here, only I won't have my mom fighting with me.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Logan's 10 Months Today!

That's right my baby boy is a 10 months old today, which means that in less than 60 days he'll be ONE! Wow-wee how time does fly when you're a mommy. He's gone from being a 8lb 1oz bump on a log to a 23lb firecracker in less than a year, I can only imagine what the coming months will bring. :) I do look forward to it though - I can't wait for all the other firsts that life has in store for him.
He's meeting his milestones so well. Right now he's cruising and crawling, which means that walking is just around the corner! He says a few words daily like "Baba" "Dada" and "Mom" (not "Mama" mind you!) and then on occasion he'll say "bye" "hi" "cat" and "toy". He waves bye-bye and plays peek-a-boo, loves to clap, dance, and "sing". It could just be my mommy prejudiced opinion but he really is so bright! I don't see other children his age doing the things he does.

Ok I'm done gushing. for now.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Bye Bye Breastpump

Well I'm sad, we're officially packing up the breast pump and being done with breastfeeding. I haven't been able to pump much, maybe 4oz a day and Logan won't even latch on anymore so what's the point? I know that I'll have more chances at breastfeeding with other children and I gave Logan my best go for 9 months but it doesn't make stop feeling like if only I would have done this different or that different my supply wouldn't have failed me. I don't regret giving Logan a bottle at all, he needed it and he's so much happier now that he's full all the time. Not to mention he's growin' like a weed! :)